Category: animals/insects

My Wife got our son a Dalmatian puppy for his birthday. It has been yapping for a week and keeping me up at night. so I kicked it across the room. ….That hit the spot.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you put a chameleon on a mirror?

Don’t be rasist, be like a panda: Black, Asian and White …so you can pick cotton, put together an iPod and rule the world.

Apparently there’s something offensive about snakes.My pet snake,was born with only one eye(unfortunately),and when I ask people if they want to see my ‘one eyed snake’ I get these disgusting looks off them.

I took my Bulldog to a dog handler the other day. He’s much easier to pick up now.

My new girlfriend said she loved her creature comforts. So I skinned her cat and made a lovely hat for her.

Just found out my cow and goat have been dating. They are in a stable relationship.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Personally, I’m going with the egg; in my experience, most birds take forever to come

I had a go on one of those stalls where you shoot a duck over and you get a prize. I noticed if you aim the gun at the guy running the stall, you get ALL the prizes.

“Tiger admits he’s a cheater” So up until now everyone believed he was just a really fast Tiger?

I’d like to see what happens when a shark is on her period.

I thought I saw a gecko run across my computer screen. Upon closer inspection I realised it wasn’t a gecko. It was actually a monitor lizard.

I wonder if the first person that spotted a puma realised that he or she had invented the leopard?

So Police are set to reopen the Amy Winehouse investigation into her death? Can’t they just let sleeping dogs lie

Found out my Wife is petrified of creepy crawlies the other day, then i thought of an advantage to this….. …i invested in an ant farm to ringfence the kitchen.