Category: holidays

I was looking for cheap flights online and tried to log into ‘skynet.com’ I’ve just had some big Austrian bloke at the door asking if I know someone called Sarah Connor.

I really enjoy giving my son the Christmas feel.

Just took my pet ostrich on a beach holiday, cant help thinking hes not getting the most out of it!!

This year I’m going on holiday in the Off-Peak District. Much cheaper.

My wife and I just had a blazing argument over the phone. She’s accusing me of being a money waster and now she’s genuinely worried that the kids will miss out this Christmas. It’s put a real dampener on my trip to Las Vegas.

Saga Cruises, So Davy Jones doesnt have to leave the water

If you get kidnapped, taken to a foreign country, then released after a while, wouldn’t you just stay a bit longer as a free holiday?

I went to Glastonbury and had some awful experiences. The smell of urine and faeces, vomit on the floor and everywhere was soaked. We really shouldn’t have stopped at a Travel Lodge on the way back.

I’ll never forget the time I had to use an oxygen mask for an Easyjet flight. It was just after the help-desk told me how much the baggage fees were.

“I’ve just got back from a fantastic holiday with friends in Italy.” “Rimini?” “Well, I don’t know them that well…”

I’d love to reduce my carbon footprint, but it costs 120 to buy a train ticket from London to Newcastle or 2 to fly there via Barcelona.

Me, my brother and parents went on a holiday to the lake district last week. There was a constant whining noise all the way there. To sort the problem, my dad kicked my mom out at the service station.

I hate the school holidays. It’s only 9o’clock in the morning and there’s kids playing football in the street already. I wish they would go find something better to do,and let me drink my beer in peace.

I’ve just got back from my 3 week holiday in India and after being there for a whole 3 weeks, I missed England a bit. So I have vowed to be more English than before, and I already have a head start. I’m brown.

How does every Ryanair flight start? With jumpleads