Category: wordplay

When Chelsea’s physio comes on the TV, I do the same thing.

SKY NEWS- Take that Gigs: Drunk Women Spark A&E Surge Personaly, I dont see how this would affect him.

BREAKING NEWS IN THE CABINET RESHUFFLE My Xbox 360 games have been moved to the bottom drawer.

I was talking to a girl from the USA earlier. She told me, “I miss America.” I didn’t believe her though: her grammar was terrible and she wasn’t that attractive.

I saw a flying saucer glowing in the sky last night which I identified as a UFO. At which point it immediately ceased to be one.

I’ve just heard about Dusty Springfield… Matt Groening should start drawing some hoovers.

Had a pretty somber conversation with a friend of mine recently. It mainly centered around how his family name is Cyst. At that point in time his wife was in labour with his unborn child, and we were discussing the various ‘disease’ related names he used to get called at school. Told me it’d break […]

‘Just been to a party at a 70s disco divas house. We played a game where you had to throw a paki as far as you could’ ‘Donna summers?’ ‘No chuck a kahn’

Police in Southampton have seized over 300 million pounds worth of Cocaine Lets just hope they follow the right lines of enquiry

For fifteen years I’ve been collecting watches and clocks but I’ve had to give it up. It was taking up too much time.

It’s my son’s sports day tomorrow and as he’s the only white, blonde, blue eyed child in his inner-city school, he should be the clear favourite for the Aryan race.

I saw a label on a packet of that weird gel that said ‘Do not Open, Ingest’ I don’t know why they think it would be funny.

What’s the Big Issue with homeless people?

I always find it satisfying when I get jury duty. Means i’m not a suspect!

My tooth started to hurt yesterday, so needing an appointment I gave the local dentist a ring. He looked puzzled, but put it on his finger and said ‘thanks, now what can I do for you?’