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Category: beauty

I don’t really like my ne …

November 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I don’t really like my ne …

I don’t really like my new hair. But I suppose it’ll grow on me…

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Surely if Alpecin works, …

October 22qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Surely if Alpecin works, …

Surely if Alpecin works, you would end up with really hairy hands?

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Whenever I go into the to …

October 20qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Whenever I go into the to …

Whenever I go into the toilet after my wife there is always a strong scent of air freshener. I’m so glad she likes her new perfume.

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I approached a girl in a …

October 3qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I approached a girl in a …

I approached a girl in a bar and told her she was one in a million. “Thanks” she said “That’s very sweet of you!” “Oh” I said “It’s not a compliment. I just can’t imagine that there are 999,999 uglier people.

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My mate gets dumped prett …

September 30qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My mate gets dumped prett …

My mate gets dumped pretty regularly, so I asked him how long it takes to get over a girl. He replied “Depends how fat she is.”

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Girls who pull the trout …

July 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Girls who pull the trout …

Girls who pull the trout pout in pictures are so obviously fishing for compliments.

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I’d hate to be a woman. B …

March 17qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’d hate to be a woman. B …

I’d hate to be a woman. Besides the periods, the hair and beauty traumas, weight issues, and all the housework they have to do, have you noticed how they always seem to turn a funny orange/tan colour around winter time?

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Today my boss told me my …

August 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Today my boss told me my …

Today my boss told me my facial hair is bad for business, Nothing’s been said by any of the other escorts though.

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I’ve almost finished deve …

August 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve almost finished deve …

I’ve almost finished developing an anti-ageing product and my wife has agreed to let me trial it on her tonight. I just need to find a silencer now.

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Just heard that Ashleigh …

July 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Just heard that Ashleigh …

Just heard that Ashleigh Hall who was killed in County Durham was ‘a lovely, lovely kid’ who was ‘the nicest’. Obviously she was nice – she had to be. She was hideous.

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I was going to give you a …

May 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was going to give you a …

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

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I used to hate facial hai …

January 15qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I used to hate facial hai …

I used to hate facial hair!! But eventually, it grew on me.

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My wife told me that I ne …

December 27qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My wife told me that I ne …

My wife told me that I needed to go to the gym and get in shape. I replied, “I am in shape!” A sphere is a shape.

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I saw the woman who’s in …

December 13qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I saw the woman who’s in …

I saw the woman who’s in that wrinkle removal cream advert at a party. I asked her what her secret really is. “I’m twenty two”, she said.

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Women must think I’m a ha …

July 31qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Women must think I’m a ha …

Women must think I’m a handyman, since “help” is the first word out of their mouth when they see me.

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