Category: philosophy

In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king. Or is it just the one who claims to have one eye?

Whenever I split up from a woman I think, “I’ll always have my memories”. And by memories I mean naked photographs of them.

If my kid is screaming in the bedroom, but I’m in the pub does it make a noise? Gerry McCann? It’s good to see you’ve not let things affect your day to day activities!

So, I was talking to 17th century French philosopher Rene Descartes the other day and I said “Rene, I think that your Cartesian Geometry is irrevelevant to everyday life.” He started to reply “Well, I don’t think…” But then he vanished.

I used to be scared about digging for coal but now I have bigger phobias. So that’s just a miner one.

Apparently when a professor asks you what came first, the chicken or the egg, suggesting ‘IVF treatment’ is neither clever nor funny.

What’s the difference between philosophers and great minds? Philosophers like a think.

Good old British mentality ‘If it doesnt work – Hit it ‘ Im a Childless Widow now

Give an homeless man a matchstick, and he can make bonfire and stay warm for a day. Throw him into the fire, and he stays warm for the rest of his life.

The pen is mightier than the sword. And considerably easier to write with.

If a tree falls in the wood and no-one is there to hear it, is it funny if it falls on a deaf person?

what is up with all the ginger jokes on Sickipedia? God already hates them, you don’t have to make it worse.

Everybody’s on death row, some just get to enjoy it more than others.

Why has no one invented bubble wrap where the bubbles are filled with helium so that your packages are lighter and thus cheaper to post?

I shouldn’t question everything… should I?