Category: farming

In a countryside field a sign reads…. “The Farmer allows walkers to cross this field for free, but the bull charges”

What do you call a guy who used to like tractors? An Extractor fan.

‘Hi, I’m Jake Roberts, a cattle farmer from over the river. Are you the infamous Pete Hunter?’ “Why? What ya heard?” “Cattle… I just told ya that”

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ”Where’s my tractor?”

Im struggling to find the best way to get my baby goats clean and ready for the village fete tomorrow. Does anyone know of any good internet sites where I can get tips on grooming kids?

As a shepherd, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I used to tell them to my dog but he’d always herd them.

BBC NEWS – Man in farm murder inquiry bailed. As much as I like to see the punishment fitting the crime scenario I’m not sure what throwing blocks of hay at him will achieve.

The vet said to the Irish dairy farmer “I’m sorry, it’s bad news. All your cows have Blue Tongue. The farmer replies “Bejaysus….I didn’t even know they had mobiles!”

I think the farmer next door is on drugs but getting evidence is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

My uncle is a farmer, a few months ago he was harvesting his crops.He was driving his combine harvester through his field when he accidentally ran over a drunken scratter asleep on the floor. There was blood, sovereign rings, Kappa tracksuit and Burberry all over the place. It took him ages to sort the wheat […]

I couldn’t get my tractor back home from work today. I drove into a magnetic field.

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by […]

I finally decided to get rid of all the people that constantly send me Farmville requests on Facebook. My wife was fuming when I blocked all 6 of her accounts.

I’m not trying to impress you but, I own a tractor.

How do farmers make crop circles? With a protractor.