Category: one liner

Reduce your carbon footprint.. take bigger steps.

Generally speaking, people named Aaron have really lazy parents.

Theres something not right about that stroke patient

I’ve got a new blank chess board. Check it out.

Nothing measures up to my ruler.

I went to the doctors about an almond I have growing between my nipples. He said ” ahhh that old chest nut “.

When I heard that 160 Indians had died in a crash I was surprised it was an aeroplane and not a Nissan Almera

Knowing the facts takes all the fun out of making decisions.

The future: like the past, except you die in it.

I Gotta Feeling… and if that feeling has anything to do with Fergies’ outfit then it’s arousal.

My boss told me that if I keep coming into work late, I’m going to be looking at Dismissal. I’m just wondering how Starbucks acquired a WMD.

I failed my chair exam. I have to resit.

I’ve come up with more irrelevant similes than a cat on a hot tin roof.

Roman Polanski & Pope Benedict XVI set to co-star in “Grumpy Old Rapists.”

Never ask a black barman for a shot.