Category: lottery

The irony is, that the winners of the Euromillions lottery are unable to rollover themselves.

I’ve decided that, if I ever win the lottery, I won’t let the money change me. I’ll leave that to the plastic surgeons.

My daughter is named Charlotte but I prefer to call her lotto. Not because it’s shorter just because I have a go on her twice a week.

I feel sorry for Euromillions winners Chris and Colin Weir, now they’ve gone public they’re going to get all sorts of unscrupulous low life pestering them for money. “Would you like fries with that? would you like to go large for an extra 30p?….”

I’ve just won the Lottery, to celebrate I’m having a tattoo of my lucky winnings numbers done on my arm. 15,23, and 46.

If I had a pound for every time I got fooled into playing the Lottery… I’d feel adequately compensated.

I find it funny how some people only put the lottery on if it’s a rollover. Almost as if they could do without 3 million tax-free pounds.

I’ve got 10 lines for tonights euro lottery!! if i win I’m gonna snort the lot!!

Just seen the 161 million pound couple. Would have been kinder to put it in Kilos.

What goes from 0-60 in 0.1 seconds? Facebook friends for Colin & Chris Weir.

Yes I can confirm the rumors are true – it was me who won the 166 million Euro jackpot. I spent the money putting a full tank of petrol in my car. Obviously I’m now skint again, so stop sending begging letters.

What’s the difference between a man having an argument with his wife and a man buying a lottery ticket? The man has more chance of winning the lottery.

161m – At least you can afford the gastric band surgey now from bupa.

“What would you buy if you won the lottery?” asked my girlfriend. “Oh you know, probably just the usual stuff; big house, fast car” I replied. “Would you leave me for another woman?” “Of course not, darling, I’d leave you for several.”

Imagine winning 161 million in the lottery, you could buy anything you ever wanted. Except a neck.