Category: professions

This young girl goes to the doctor’s. The doctor put a stethoscope on her chest and says, “Nice big breaths.” And the girl says, “Yeth, and I’m only twelve.”

My girlfriend’s been to college and is well on her way to being a professional make-up artist. She’s already got her foundation degree.

Use the best when it comes to computers! Apple for graphics Palm for mobility Linux for servers Windows for solitaire

i went for a colonoscopy yesterday and was quite worried, but luckily i got the thumbs up.

A doctor is speaking to a man. He says, “Do you want the good or the bad news first?” The man replies, “The good news.” The doctor says, “You have 24 hours to live.” “WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN THAT?!” the man demands. “I was trying to reach you yesterday.”

I was on the Tube the other day, when a Polish builder got on wearing a fluorescent jacket and green camouflage trousers. Is it me, or does anybody else see the irony in that?

“Shotgun!” I called, smugly, as we walked towards the car. “No, get in the back.” “But I called shotgun!” I protested. “Sir, I’ve had a long day, just get in the back of the police car.”

Policeman ‘raped women on duty’ I’ve never been more scared of meeting a bent copper than I am now.

A Muslim chef has lost an appeal at a tribunal, claiming that he has to handle pork products in a police canteen. Tribunal ruled that he has no case as he already works with pigs.

Obviously there’s no Polish translation for: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”

I simply don’t believe the police when they say those responsible for trafficking children are extremely difficult to detect. Only today I spotted one near a school, wearing a bright yellow jacket, standing next to a stick shaped like a lollipop.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away… If you throw hard enough.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said: “Call for backup.”

“Bring your child to work” day is rather awkward here at the abortion clinic.

How many black policemen are praying that all the good stuff isn’t gone before their day off?