Category: puns

If I ever have to open another Fray Bentos pie again, I’ll slit my wrists.

Who wears his guns and holster just below his shoulders? Billy the flid

Germany is marking the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Well its just a dissident memory now..

I went into Sainsbury’s and asked, “Do you sell spinal vertebrae?” The guy said, “They’re in the back.”

Postman falls into coma… Letters pray.

I can’t think of any boat puns. Canoe?

Me and a mate stayed up all night stapling things to each other at Tesco Now I have bags under my eyes

I was stuck in a lift with Aston Villa’s Irish goalkeeper and a South American Marxist revolutionary. Touche.

My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction before I got carried away.

When you’re Russian for a drink, there’s no time for Stalin.

Back in Vietnam i was a toilet cleaner I still get flush Backs

I made up a joke about boomerangs earlier……I can’t seem to remember it now……no, wait it’s coming back to me

I’ve been spending too much time on the computer and I think there’s a chance the constant slouching could lead to back pain. But ah well, it’s just a hunch.

Just finished reading the yellow pages. It was ok but had way too many characters.

I went to the zoo and saw a loaf in a cage. A sign read: “Bread in captivity.”