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Category: joke

I was walking my dog this …

December 31 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was walking my dog this …

I was walking my dog this morning when a Paki stopped me and asked; “Why has your dog got a bandage on his face?” Me: “He had an accident and lost his nose” Paki: “That’s awful, how does he smell?” Me: “Nowhere near as bad as you”.

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I’ve never really had the …

December 29 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve never really had the …

I’ve never really had the chance to say this often, so this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this.

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I hated it in prison, I u …

December 27 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I hated it in prison, I u …

I hated it in prison, I used to get beaten everyday. Turns out I’m rubbish at Playstation games.

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Took a week off of work f …

December 26 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Took a week off of work f …

Took a week off of work for some reflection. Basically it’s me dressing like a girl and chatting myself up in the mirror.

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If the temperature is zer …

December 25 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on If the temperature is zer …

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? 16F… or 546K

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I don’t know why pandas h …

December 22 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I don’t know why pandas h …

I don’t know why pandas have so much difficulty mating. It’s all there in front of them in black and white.

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Jokes on Sickipedia are a …

December 21 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Jokes on Sickipedia are a …

Jokes on Sickipedia are a lot like children. If you start stealing them you’ll get a bad reputation.

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I lost control of the car …

December 20 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I lost control of the car …

I lost control of the car earlier and ploughed into two people polishing their car. I think I’ve really hit the buffers this time.

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The other day, my mate to …

December 16 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on The other day, my mate to …

The other day, my mate told me that joke: “How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? Doritos!” I thought: “Great, now how am I supposed to eat doritos and salsa again without feeling slightly aroused?!”

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A horse walks into a bar …

December 15January 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on A horse walks into a bar …

A horse walks into a bar and asks, “Why the long face?” “What?” asks the confused barman.

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I was having a packet of …

December 14January 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was having a packet of …

I was having a packet of kettle crisps with my Stella when the wife says “Why are those crisp bags so big”? I said “they’re made in Norwich you need a bigger bag to get a 6 fingered hand in”

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BBC News : “Chickens die …

December 13 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on BBC News : “Chickens die …

BBC News : “Chickens die as lorry overturns” Investigations into why the chickens were crossing the road have so far only drawn really bad punchlines.

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I played a little trick o …

December 12 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I played a little trick o …

I played a little trick on my wife today… I gave her a large dose laughing gas on the way in to her mother’s funeral.

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The Sun’s “Target A Troll …

December 12 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on The Sun’s “Target A Troll …

The Sun’s “Target A Troll” Campaign trying to get the details of wierdos making fun of tragedy handed over to the police… Is this some idea of a sick joke?

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Why do women make sandwic …

December 8 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Why do women make sandwic …

Why do women make sandwiches? Because they’re bread for it.

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