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Category: modern life

I was walking down the st …

October 25 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was walking down the st …

I was walking down the street when I saw about 12 people huddled round this old guy laying on the floor, one of them ran over to me and shouted “please tell me you’ve got a phone, we need to ring an ambulance or he’s going to die!” I replied “Sorry I haven’t” I don’t […]

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Breaking a car window to …

October 22 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Breaking a car window to …

Breaking a car window to steal CDs is the Old Skool way to download music.

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I went to this club looki …

October 18 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I went to this club looki …

I went to this club looking for a little bit of skirt for the night, all was going well until Brown Owl appeared.

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MOBILITY SCOOTER DRIVERS. …

September 26 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on MOBILITY SCOOTER DRIVERS. …

MOBILITY SCOOTER DRIVERS. Attach a string of bananas behind your vehicle for that exciting Mario Kart look.

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I’ve just quit my job as …

September 25 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve just quit my job as …

I’ve just quit my job as a submariner. I was under too much pressure.

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behavioural psychology is …

August 25 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on behavioural psychology is …

behavioural psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats

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With a slight hesitation, …

August 9 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on With a slight hesitation, …

With a slight hesitation, I nervously inserted a finger: it felt warm and wet. She groaned. “I’m gonna need more than that,” she said. Taking a breath, I then inserted three more fingers. Her eyes widened. “Go on, put your whole hand in,” she demanded. I wanted to please her, so I did what she […]

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I met this bird from New …

July 27January 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I met this bird from New …

I met this bird from New York in the pub this week and I took her out for dinner last night. I told her I knew this fantastic place that does really authentic native American food. She wasn’t too impressed though. Apparently they have MacDonalds in the US as well.

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Life would be so much eas …

July 20 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Life would be so much eas …

Life would be so much easier, if my sat nav had an “avoid ghetto” setting

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Nothing says “I’m on the …

July 19 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Nothing says “I’m on the …

Nothing says “I’m on the minimum wage” like sitting in McDonald’s with a high viz jacket on.

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Heat magazine… For all …

June 26 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Heat magazine… For all …

Heat magazine… For all the hot gossip on the hottest celebrities. Sickipedia… For all the sickest jokes on the cold celebrities.

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If Sickipedia was a build …

April 9 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on If Sickipedia was a build …

If Sickipedia was a building, it would be a public toilet, seriously filthy and always out of order!!

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Went round to my girlfrie …

March 26 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Went round to my girlfrie …

Went round to my girlfriends father last night and asked if I could marry his Daughter “Ask her Mother” he said “Nah I would rather marry your Daughter” I said

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1612: “Oh Charles, I writ …

March 11 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on 1612: “Oh Charles, I writ …

1612: “Oh Charles, I write to inform you I have received your letter and I’ve been left quite speechless” 2012: “K”

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When having a terrible da …

February 8 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on When having a terrible da …

When having a terrible day, say “I bet it will become worse” that way if it does, at least you can feel good that you were right about something.

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