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Category: mythical

I was in Tesco earlier an …

November 19 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was in Tesco earlier an …

I was in Tesco earlier and the cashier said she felt like a zombie. Better safe than sorry I thought, so I stabbed her in the eye with a pen.

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My mate said vampires can …

October 2 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My mate said vampires can …

My mate said vampires can’t be real as they could get AIDs from peoples blood, I replied back “It depends on the colour of the person they bite”

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Fairy tales are so unreal …

September 25 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Fairy tales are so unreal …

Fairy tales are so unrealistic. It’s not the dragons, or the witches, or even all the magic. It’s the fact that there are all those sleeping princesses, and not once do you hear about them being the victims of opportunist rapists.

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If a vegetarian becomes a …

August 26January 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on If a vegetarian becomes a …

If a vegetarian becomes a Zombie…do they only eat people in comas?

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I honestly don’t know why …

July 26 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I honestly don’t know why …

I honestly don’t know why everyone is making such a fuss about their relationship. Mine is a walk in the park. Admittedly with a dog, but a walk in the park nonetheless.

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Twilight is so pointless …

June 18 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Twilight is so pointless …

Twilight is so pointless i mean why do they not just have a threesome and have it done with instead of wasting my time with all of these films.

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Vampires won’t bother wit …

May 7 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Vampires won’t bother wit …

Vampires won’t bother with Keith Richards. You can’t get blood from a stone.

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So apparently it’s not al …

April 22 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on So apparently it’s not al …

So apparently it’s not all bad news if you get killed by Voldemort. Instead, you can become a teen vampire with the power to make 13 year-olds fall in love with you.

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After watching a few zomb …

December 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on After watching a few zomb …

After watching a few zombie films I’ve come to the conclusion that I would be a cameraman in the event of a zombie-apocalypse. They never seem to attack them.

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Edward Cullen. He doesn’t …

November 8 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Edward Cullen. He doesn’t …

Edward Cullen. He doesn’t bite people, he looks like he resides in the woods, and he sparkles. Face it, he’s not a real vampire. He’s a fairy.

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“It’s Bully from Bullseye …

November 1January 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on “It’s Bully from Bullseye …

“It’s Bully from Bullseye!” I exclaimed as I saw the small statuette. “You aren’t really an expert in Cretan archeology are you?” replied the museum director.

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BBC News: Despicable film …

October 6 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on BBC News: Despicable film …

BBC News: Despicable film eclipses Twilight. The BBC should really check their website, someone has typed the word ‘eclipses’ into the above heading

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I wish my wife was more l …

September 29 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I wish my wife was more l …

I wish my wife was more like the wanted. She’s never glad I came.

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As any zombie will agree, …

September 26 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on As any zombie will agree, …

As any zombie will agree, the most important thing to look for in a woman is brains

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I love Twilight. 2 to get …

August 3 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I love Twilight. 2 to get …

I love Twilight. 2 to get some fake teeth. And then I can convince young girls to come into the forest with me, with a piggyback ride.

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