Category: books

Ever wonder what your dreams mean? It means bookshops can make loads of money by selling books to gullible people.

I was reading a scary book today but it kept trying to get away from me. Spineless git.

If a book on failure doesn’t sell well, has it been a success?

Can anybody think of a different word for thesaurus? Hang on, let me just check my onomasticon.

My mom wouldn’t let me read or watch Harry Potter when I was little because she thought I would start acting like a Wizard. Stupid muggle has no idea what she’s talking about.

Twinings have recently developed a new erotic breakfast tea, Fifty Shades Of Earl Grey.

So David Beckham’s biography is set to be a ‘picture book’. Surprise surprise…

Suarez and Evra. Still a better love story than twilight.

By now, I think nearly everyone in the world knows who Harry Potter is… Unless they’re locked in a cupboard under some stairs.

I commute a lot, so I bought one of those new Apple iPads so I can read virtual books on long journeys. It’s brilliant, it’s just like reading a normal book except it runs out of batteries and it gives me a migraine.

Just back from the nightclub with DJ Sauron… It was Mordor on the dancefloor.

I’m writing a book about Zoophilia. It’s called the farmersutra.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

Some pages from J.K. Rowling’s new ‘adult’ novel have been leaked on the internet. Chapter 1. Fifty Eight year old Harold Potter was out for a walk near his old school when, suddenly, he saw an owl flying towards him…..

J.K. Rowlings new novel is said to be the best fiction writing since George Osbournes Budget