Category: school

I could count with the fingers on one hand the number of times I’ve been called a useless Maths teacher. As long as those fingers were operating a calculator.

I didn’t know the answer to the exam question “What is plagiarism?” So I just copied off the bloke next to me.

Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school. But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.

Teenage pregnancy and drug use rates are rising. No wonder this year’s biology and chemistry exam results reached a record high.

When I was at school, I had a teacher who had a nervous tick… so everyone got really good marks.

If you’ve failed your exams, don’t panic. You do have a number of options. Perhaps an overdose or jumping in front of a train.

You could always tell who were the the rich kids and who were the poor kids at school. The rich kids would come back with a new rucksack and a tan, and the poor kids would come back with a black eye and a new surname.

These maths based questions on Facebook are starting to get annoying. The order of BIDMAS is not up for debate. 5*5+5 does not equal 50 it equals 30 because a system has been set up to avoid this kind of confusion.

I think I know around 90% of the topics for my maths exam next week. Unfortunately, percentages aren’t one of them…

When I was in school, one of my teachers was known for wearing very, very short skirts and no underwear, and would deliberately drop pencils on the floor in front of us then bend down to pick them up again – giving us a good eyeful of, well… everything. Eventually the school heard about what […]

I work as a P.E teacher and I have to say the girls are very good at cross-country running. But I will catch them someday.

I asked my Geography teacher where Mozambique is? I dont know im your im your Maths teacher,he replied. I said dont change the subject.

‘Active children get best grades’, claim education experts. What about Stephen Hawking?

I said to my son, “What did you do at school today?” He said, “We learnt about all the capitals.” “How many do you know?” I asked. He said, “All of them.” I said, “All of them, are you sure?” He said, “Yes, they’re just like the small letters, but you write them a bit […]

Just got a letter from the exam board regarding my results. They congratulated me for being one of the top marks in the country. I had to send it back though – my name’s not Mark.