Category: dreams

I had a really bad nightmare last night. I dreamt that I unsuccessfully buried my wife in the back garden. When I woke up, I walked downstairs and hugged my spade.

You know, I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later

I’ve been having dreams that I can’t interpret. They’re in French and I don’t speak the language.

I had the worst Nightmare last night, It didn’t scare me at all.

I had a fantastic wet dream last night. It was about a tsunami in the indian ocean which killed 250,000 pakis, indians and darkies.

My wife wasnt happy when I announced I was going to be leaving to follow my dream. Or “Tanya from next door” as she is also known.

Sign on the motorway, “Tiredness can kill”. Especially true if you were on your way to Elm street.

An elderly couple is having breakfast. The woman says: “Oh, I had the most wonderful dream: I was 20 years old again and I was cycling through a beautiful forest with my sister.” The man replies: “I had a wonderful dream too: I was 20 years old again and I was making love to a […]

I never knew having an imaginary friend could be so problematic. I opened a bank account for him, donated some of my funds, now I’m being done for tax evasion.

My parents used to say i’d never be able to be a pirate when I grew up. My dvd and music collection nowadays says otherwise.

This girl in the pub asked me if she was the woman of my dreams. “That depends” I said. “Are you wet?”

Aren’t dreams amazing. Last night I had a dream that I hadn’t had a shave and I woke to find it had come true.

When you wish upon a star, you are a few million years late. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

I don’t know if it’s common, but when I was a kid I used to dream that I was falling from a tall tree, only to wake up and find out that, in fact, the babysitter had thrown me out of the window.

Last night i had an amazing dream involving Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Katy Perry and Cheryl Cole. I beat them all at Monopoly.