Category: work

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

The new girl at work slapped me today because I asked if she spits or swallows. It seemed like a reasonable question considering we work as wine tasters.

I can’t understand my boss sometimes.The more I call in sick the more he seems to dislike me. I thought absence makes the heart grow fonder.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a history teacher but when I got older I realised there was no future in it.

All I do at work is presentations for my colleagues, it’s just slide after slide after slide. In fact, working for Toys ‘R’ Us is quite fun!

I had to deliver a parcel to the surgery today. It was just what the doctor ordered

I try to let my wife run things at home. Like the dishwasher, hoover and lawnmower.

I was telling my fiance about the guys at work – how they’re always putting me down saying timing just isn’t my strong suit. “If you could just recite your vows, please” interrupted the vicar.

University is hard. We work 11 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 2 weeks a year.

I was doing some maths homework the other day. It derived me mad.

I didn’t fix the safety guard on the bandsaw and one of my employees had a rather nasty accident. It cost us both an arm and a leg.

I’ve always aspired to be a social worker. It’s a step up from my current position as ‘sewer rat’.

I had a fight with a bricklayer earlier….. I levelled him.

“It’s 9am monday morning and I have just logged in at work” like : share : Posted via “facebook mobile”

Had some health and saftey training the other day, they told me to always lift with my knees. After 3 hours I discovered it’s so much easier with your hands.