Category: childish

Roses are red, violets are blue, what I thought to be Vaseline turned out to be glue

Got young children? When the wife takes them to a supermarket, tell them that no matter how fast they run at it, automatic doors will always open in time…

“I’ve got a lot of growing up to do” I thought to myself the other day. In my fort.

I often have flings with birds, then end up smashing their back doors in and destroying them outside in the woods. How I love playing Angry Birds on my phone.

My wife threw me out for being too childish last night. God knows how she knocked down the walls of my impenetrable pillow fort to get to me.

Lonely man has car for sale. Low Mileage. Drives lovely. Time wasters welcome.

No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.

I’m not superficial. I try to be nice to ugly people. In case I ever need someone to babysit on short notice.

I’m sick and tired of my girlfriend insulting my friends. She hasn’t even met them. What right does she have to call them stupid, childish and imaginary?

Even though I’m a monster, I find it hard to fall asleep. I always feel like there’s something on top of my bed.

I got a detention at school today after responding to the teacher with “that’s what she said”. She then proceeded to tell me to think long and hard about what I do in life. I now have another detention.

We’ve spent years trying to make a baby, but me and the wife have stuck together and finally made one. It’s the hardest Airfix kit we’ve ever done.

Studies from the University of Plymouth have discovered that while orange can be a colour, interestingly, it can also be a fruit.

Unicorns aren’t extinct – they just gained weight and are now called rhinos

We used to run around in the neighborhood playing games like ‘War.’ I’m not proud of that. We lost some good kids.