Category: homeless

I came out of Woolworths the other day and saw a scruffy bloke.He was playing the guitar and singing, “When I was young, seemed like life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.” I said, “That’s Supertramp”, he said, “Ah thanks very much”.

Just walked out of the shop and tramp approached me and said, “Have you got a spare cigarette?” I said, “Hang on a minute, mate,” as I took a full pack from my pocket and opened them… I said, “No, mate, there’s only 20 in it.”

They say ‘there’s no such thing as a free lunch’ I beg to differ, literally, I’m a tramp.

I walked past a homeless man today and he shouted to me, ‘Have you got a pound for a sandwich?’ I replied, ‘Show me the sandwich and i’ll give you a pound for it!’

Anyone else see the irony in tramps drinking Tenants?

I walked past a beggar today with a dog. I thought, “how can he afford to keep a dog if he can’t even afford to feed himself?” Some people have got more money than sense.

I was walking down the street, then a homeless man said to me, “Can you please spare me a sorry?” I said, “What?” He said, “I beg your pardon.”

I tried to get the local tramp to play football down the park, He had a couple of good games but ended up on the bench for the rest of the day.

Studies have proven that cats are smarter than dogs. How many cats do you see sat by a homeless person?

The other day, I saw a homeless woman and her child begging for money. I presume it was ‘bring your child to work day’

Advice for enterprising tramps and homeless. Invest in a card swipe machine for those awkward occasions when your target ‘doesn’t have any change’ on them.

I dropped my wallet earlier and a homeless man chased me down to give it back. I was so amazed I took out all of my money and gave him a free wallet.

More riotting set for London streets. Here is the postcode for your sat nav. N16 6ER.

Today I bought a hobo a sausage roll from greggs, only for him to say he didnt like them. I guess beggars can be choosers.

I’ve just walked up to a freezing tramp holding a Big Mac and a cup of coffee. I asked, “Are you hungry mate?” He smiled reservedly and answered, “Yes, I’m starving.” “Well I don’t usually help your kind out,” I said, “But, about 100 yards down there, you can probably find the gherkin I chucked […]