Category: shopping

If I have four apples in my right hand and six in my left, why aren’t I using a bag?

I always feel awkward when I wear a blue and yellow T-shirt in Ikea.

I went to check out the specials at asda today. I found them pushing trolleys in the car park.

Went shopping with my wife to ikea at the weekend. Soon after entering i saw a woman staring at me, she kept winking and smiling at me, and as soon as my wife went off to look at kitchen fittings, she came up to me. Seductively she asked “Monogomy is not for everyone” I replied […]

I’m in serious trouble. I got caught urinating in the shower this morning. It seems they frown on that at B&Q.

Primark – keeping immigrants in work since 1969.

I always hold hands with my wife whenever we go out. Because if I let go, she’d start shopping.

Irony – Attempting to purchase tobacco with healthy living coupons.

I’ve been done. Just been to DFS and bought a sofa. Turns out it’s their normal price month.

Primark: A place for those too proud to shop in Oxfam yet too cheap to shop in New Look.

I always buy Tesco value toilet paper. There are certain shortcomings, but it feels the same as Andrex on the hole.

Can you believe these bag for life schemes in supermarkets? How can they consider that a fair trade?

I’ve just told my girlfriend I’m taking her to a spa. She’s never been so excited about going shopping.

Some people call me a reluctant consumer, but I don’t buy it.

A Tesco manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for quite some time now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any more.” Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t […]