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Category: shopping

If I have four apples in …

December 31 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on If I have four apples in …

If I have four apples in my right hand and six in my left, why aren’t I using a bag?

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I always feel awkward whe …

December 27 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I always feel awkward whe …

I always feel awkward when I wear a blue and yellow T-shirt in Ikea.

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I went to check out the s …

December 20 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I went to check out the s …

I went to check out the specials at asda today. I found them pushing trolleys in the car park.

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Went shopping with my wif …

December 20 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Went shopping with my wif …

Went shopping with my wife to ikea at the weekend. Soon after entering i saw a woman staring at me, she kept winking and smiling at me, and as soon as my wife went off to look at kitchen fittings, she came up to me. Seductively she asked “Monogomy is not for everyone” I replied […]

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I’m in serious trouble. I …

December 10 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’m in serious trouble. I …

I’m in serious trouble. I got caught urinating in the shower this morning. It seems they frown on that at B&Q.

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Primark – keeping immigra …

December 8 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Primark – keeping immigra …

Primark – keeping immigrants in work since 1969.

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I always hold hands with …

November 14 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I always hold hands with …

I always hold hands with my wife whenever we go out. Because if I let go, she’d start shopping.

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Irony – Attempting to pur …

October 30January 1 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Irony – Attempting to pur …

Irony – Attempting to purchase tobacco with healthy living coupons.

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I’ve been done. Just been …

October 28 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve been done. Just been …

I’ve been done. Just been to DFS and bought a sofa. Turns out it’s their normal price month.

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Primark: A place for tho …

September 18 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Primark: A place for tho …

Primark: A place for those too proud to shop in Oxfam yet too cheap to shop in New Look.

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I always buy Tesco value …

September 10 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I always buy Tesco value …

I always buy Tesco value toilet paper. There are certain shortcomings, but it feels the same as Andrex on the hole.

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Can you believe these bag …

September 9 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Can you believe these bag …

Can you believe these bag for life schemes in supermarkets? How can they consider that a fair trade?

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I’ve just told my girlfri …

September 6 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve just told my girlfri …

I’ve just told my girlfriend I’m taking her to a spa. She’s never been so excited about going shopping.

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Some people call me a rel …

September 4 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Some people call me a rel …

Some people call me a reluctant consumer, but I don’t buy it.

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A Tesco manager overheard …

September 2 qjoq.comLeave a Comment on A Tesco manager overheard …

A Tesco manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for quite some time now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any more.” Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t […]

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