As the bad guy ran away, …
As the bad guy ran away, I took out my Colt, levelled it, took careful aim and squeezed. ‘Neigh!’
Continue ReadingAs the bad guy ran away, I took out my Colt, levelled it, took careful aim and squeezed. ‘Neigh!’
Continue ReadingHas anyone else realized that when you run into a spiderweb you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Continue ReadingA giraffe sleeps for less than two hours a day. This is because their long necks allow them to get at the cocaine other browsing animals cannot reach.
Continue ReadingMy son recently saw a beautiful dog, Jack, for sale, and asked if we would be able to buy it. I said that we don’t have enough room for in the house for him. Oh well, maybe his new foster parents will buy him a dog, who knows?
Continue ReadingI joined a line of people outside the taxidermists. An animal rights activist approached and said, “What’s going on?” I said, “Fur queue.” He said, “There’s no need to be rude.”
Continue ReadingThought i saw an insect that only comes out in the 5th month of the year, wasn’t sure though. May Bee, May Bee not.
Continue ReadingDid anyone see the Cat on the pitch at Anfield? It was only on for three minutes and went past more people than Stewart Downing has all season.
Continue ReadingIve realised my wife has a lot in common with turkeys. Too much skin around the neck and they both like to gobble.
Continue ReadingJust took a video of an angry lion… was some roar footage
Continue ReadingI was telling my mate I just got myself a labrador. He said: “Oh they’re really nice dogs, I love them but they make you go blind.”
Continue ReadingSquirrels have the kind of life every man wants – they spend the whole autumn getting their nuts and then sleep all winter.
Continue ReadingJust got to go feed the cat …To something that eats cats.
Continue ReadingHead Lice: They’re living on the fringes of society.
Continue ReadingAn animal rights protestor came up to me and asked if i liked animals Only Roasted
Continue ReadingWhat do you get if you cross a zebra with a paki? Run over by me in my lorry.
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