Cardiff City in talks wit …
Cardiff City in talks with potential new manager ‘Sheep Shearer’ I’m taking copyright for it now before The Daily Star does.
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Midget Gems are just bisc …
Midget Gems are just biscuits with turbans on
Continue ReadingIf you think Florence and …
If you think Florence and The Machine’s new song “Spectrum” is good, you want to hear her next one “Commodore 64”
Continue ReadingIt was covered in disgust …
It was covered in disgusting ranch, so I stared at the salad, undressing it with my eyes.
Continue ReadingAs my grandma approached …
As my grandma approached 70, she said to me: “I think we should be realistic, I’m going to die soon” “Nonsense gran” I said, “just pull over and swap seats, motorway driving’s not for everyone.”
Continue ReadingCheer yourself up at the …
Cheer yourself up at the next funeral you go to by hiding a tenner in your black suit today.
Continue Reading“Escape From Auschwitz” J …
“Escape From Auschwitz” Jew out soon.
Continue ReadingIRONY: Getting hit by a D …
IRONY: Getting hit by a Dodge.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided that I’m ant …
I’ve decided that I’m anti-abortion. They taste better alive.
Continue ReadingYesterday the judge sente …
Yesterday the judge sentenced my brother to life behind bars. Imagine having to serve drinks for the rest of your life.
Continue ReadingSeven days without a pun …
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Continue ReadingIf partially sighted peop …
If partially sighted people want the right to drive combine harvesters, I’m not going to stand in their way.
Continue ReadingWhat do cannibals play at …
What do cannibals play at parties ? Swallow the leader
Continue ReadingSo the Americans have now …
So the Americans have now bought Cadbury’s. That’s the fruit and nut bar gone forever!
Continue ReadingI was quite geeky when I …
I was quite geeky when I was a child. I thought that Optimus Prime was an integer with no divisors.
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