A guy goes up to a kiosk: …
A guy goes up to a kiosk: “I need something for a cough.” “Tipped, non-tipped or roll-ups?”
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My girlfriend said to me …
My girlfriend said to me she felt our relationship was suffering because of a breakdown in communication, but I told her I wasn’t really that hungry.
Continue Reading“..and that concludes tod …
“..and that concludes today’s invisibility lesson. Is everybody clear?”
Continue ReadingMy dad once strayed to cl …
My dad once strayed to close to a black hole and got pulled in. He didn’t fully appreciate the gravity of the situation.
Continue ReadingIf you ever say you’re go …
If you ever say you’re going to do some stand-up comedy, you’ll find that all your friends, your family and your work colleagues will be really keen to come along. “I’d love to come to that!” they’ll say. Before you get a warm glow inside and think of how popular you are, remember one thing: […]
Continue ReadingHeard Morrissey is making …
Heard Morrissey is making a hip hop record. He’s a blacksmith now.
Continue ReadingAmerica. The only countr …
America. The only country in history to have gone from exploration to degeneration without stopping at civilisation.
Continue ReadingThe wife says that my con …
The wife says that my constantly demanding to know what she’s spending my money on is perverted. Eh? I’m not perverted, just buy-curious.
Continue ReadingI walked out the operatin …
I walked out the operating room to meet the worried family and said, “Good news, we’ve managed to save your son’s leg.” “Thank you so much doctor, we …” “Of course like most steamroller accidents, we couldn’t save the rest of the body.”
Continue ReadingA mate of mine said a gro …
A mate of mine said a group of us “No one go left!” I said “Alright”
Continue ReadingWhats a gravediggers favo …
Whats a gravediggers favourite song? Everyday I’m shovelling
Continue ReadingI tried to give my boss a …
I tried to give my boss a letter saying I didn’t want to work for him anymore but he didn’t take any notice.
Continue ReadingMy wife wasn’t to happy w …
My wife wasn’t to happy when I gave her the letter I wrote for her birthday that she wanted. It was Y.
Continue ReadingThey say that you should …
They say that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Not such great advice when you’re a youth outreach worker with aspirations of becoming a pimp.
Continue ReadingWhat did the Hungarian na …
What did the Hungarian name his rodent extermination company? Boot-a-pest.
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