You can now actually pay …
You can now actually pay to go and stay in a Guantanamo Bay mock-up prison. It’s called Butlins and it’s in Skegness.
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Exam results are in, got …
Exam results are in, got a backwards 3 in English
Continue ReadingA Scouser, A Gypsy and a …
A Scouser, A Gypsy and a Black man.. Break into a Bar.
Continue ReadingI was talking to a cube t …
I was talking to a cube the other day, I couldn’t get a word in edgeways…
Continue ReadingSad to hear that the inve …
Sad to hear that the inventor of the Doritos has died of nachoral causes.
Continue ReadingThe doctor said “I’m pres …
The doctor said “I’m prescribing you this medicine, but I’m not going to tell you the dosage” I didn’t know how to take it.
Continue ReadingWe all thought Grandad sh …
We all thought Grandad should have got a hero’s welcome for singlehandedly pitch forking that German parachutist. But instead it ruined our Ibiza beach holiday when they arrested and deported him.
Continue ReadingI was going to post a jok …
I was going to post a joke about U-boats but I just couldn’t find a subcategory.
Continue ReadingI just saw a shop called …
I just saw a shop called Roger’s Curtains – sounds like a store for peeping Toms.
Continue ReadingI caught a man trying to …
I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing American Football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a cricket bat. I said, “Oi, what’s your game?”
Continue ReadingI made a name for myself …
I made a name for myself working in the British deed poll offices.
Continue ReadingI got an email today that …
I got an email today that said, “Have you had an accident at work?”. News travels fast when you’ve had a dodgy curry.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me he’s doin …
My mate told me he’s doing security on the doors. I said, “Why don’t you just get a lock?”.
Continue ReadingMy wife was in tears afte …
My wife was in tears after the death of her mum. “Sweetheart, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” I asked. “Just comfort me,” She said sobbing. “Okay,” I replied,” Here’s some pillows for your head, I’m off down the pub for quiz night with the lads.”
Continue ReadingThey say the best thing t …
They say the best thing to do for a woman is to make her laugh. I’d feel better if I actually spoke before she started laughing.
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