My wife was on the phone sorting out our insurance. “And your postcode?”, asked the operator. “TW7 5HQ”, my wife replied. “That’s T for train, W for woman, H for house and Q for Cuba.” I swear to God I could’ve slapped her!
Continue ReadingDavid Cameron has described tax avoidance as being morally repugnant. It’s good to see that he learnt such a strong ethical awareness when he studied at Eton College, registered charity number 1139086.
Continue ReadingBBC Sport: “Carroll to start against France” You know Christmas is approaching when the racist chants get festive
Continue ReadingGive a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. And then he’ll get sacked from the Sealife Centre.
Continue ReadingI just figured out what scroll lock does. You see that light by caps lock? Well, it turns on when you press it!
Continue ReadingI came home from work early today and caught my wife in bed with another bloke. I was angry but I refrained from going ballistic. I opted for a melee weapon instead.
Continue ReadingOpened my eyes only to see Scooch, Javine, Bucks Fizz and Andy Abraham in front of me. Turned out I’d activated my Eurovision.
Continue ReadingThe most horrible job in the world must be a coffee taster…… I mean,how do they sleep at nights?
Continue Reading“I’d like to buy this chess set please” “How will you be paying, sir?” “Check mate”..
Continue ReadingWhat floats Elton John’s boat? Flamboyancy.
Continue ReadingTaking advantage of the great weather, I was in the sun earlier Which is why I’m up on charges for incest…
Continue ReadingThe company I work for state clearly in the protocol that they do not tolerate racism in the workplace. Apparently they don’t tolerate it in the car park either.
Continue ReadingFrench anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss has died at the age of 100. Longevity must have been in his jeans?
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a man that likes savoury snacks? Scott Chegg
Continue ReadingI’d like to be an optimist but I know I’d be terrible at it.
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