I fired a sniper rifle th …
I fired a sniper rifle the other day, but it didn’t really take my fancy. I guess I always knew it was a long shot.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I regularly go to protest …
I regularly go to protests and rallies covered in salt, pepper, vinegar or various other herbs and spices. What can I say, I’m a seasoned campaigner.
Continue ReadingI spent an entire month w …
I spent an entire month working on a gigantic puzzle with a picture of the world , and I sadly lost the one final piece of the puzzle. Now I spend every night praying for a piece in the middel east.
Continue ReadingJust started a soft rock …
Just started a soft rock band We’re called “Limestone”
Continue ReadingI used to rent a flat abo …
I used to rent a flat above a surfing shop Everything was above board.
Continue ReadingI’m sitting here looking …
I’m sitting here looking at the results of years of working my fingers to the bone. I’ve got boney fingers.
Continue ReadingI recently got over my fe …
I recently got over my fear of flying. After falling off a cliff and breaking several bones, I realised I couldn’t fly anyway.
Continue ReadingI took my daughter to sch …
I took my daughter to school today in my clapped-out old Fiesta. Looks like I got lucky and managed to avoid the hazardous off-road terrain the other parents obviously had to cross in their vehicles.
Continue ReadingSausages… that’s how I …
Sausages… that’s how I roll.
Continue ReadingI’ve been trying to think …
I’ve been trying to think of an anagram for the word rap but unfortunately today I’m just not up to par.
Continue ReadingShe never wanted me to go …
She never wanted me to go on the stag do in the first place, but I think she’s gone really OTT about it … Yes I’m hungover, yes I lost my phone and couldn’t be contacted, but to have my clothes destroyed, the house being transferred to her, divorce proceedings, not allowed to see the […]
Continue ReadingMy printer gave me an err …
My printer gave me an error message this morning telling me to ‘Decrease My Raster Mode’. I suppose I do look a little ridiculous in these dreadlocks.
Continue ReadingAn electrician and an air …
An electrician and an air hostess went on a date. Sparks flew.
Continue ReadingCanine intelligence is ro …
Canine intelligence is routinely overrated. I consistently beat my Wire Fox Terrier at chess 4 out 5 games.
Continue ReadingChildline are reporting a …
Childline are reporting a worrying increase in the amount of calls they’re getting from abused children. It wasn’t like this when I was a lad. We didn’t have mobile phones.
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