Speeding KILLS!…but eag …
Speeding KILLS!…but eagerly watching the clock until it trips over to the next whole thousand kills so many more…
Continue ReadingSpeeding KILLS!…but eagerly watching the clock until it trips over to the next whole thousand kills so many more…
Continue ReadingThe Bank sent me a reminder,it said, “We havent recieved your last payment”, I wrote back and said,”Yes you have”.
Continue ReadingWhen you go abroad you should be careful of muggers, rapists and murderers also don’t drink the dirty water. But as soon as you get out of the UK you should be fine.
Continue ReadingI was banging my girlfriend last night in every conceivable position, when she yelled out “I love doggy!!!” Funnily enough, I think they were my first words too.
Continue ReadingThe Sun’s “Target A Troll” Campaign trying to get the details of wierdos making fun of tragedy handed over to the police… Is this some idea of a sick joke?
Continue ReadingI’ve decided that, if I ever win the lottery, I won’t let the money change me. I’ll leave that to the plastic surgeons.
Continue ReadingA hand in the bird is worth two on the bush.
Continue ReadingI was telling my mate that I saw a film by Spielburg last night. He said, “Which one?” I said, “Steven.”
Continue ReadingI tried going out with a faulty computer mouse once, but it just didn’t click.
Continue ReadingI bought my girlfriend a surge protector for her birthday. She nearly blew a fuse.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a brown paper bag, it really takes my breath away. Then gives me it back again.
Continue ReadingMy wife came home to find me sniffing my daughter’s knickers the other day. Wouldn’t have been so bad if my daughter wasn’t wearing them at the time!
Continue ReadingMy Geordie mate Kev was having a rant the other day, “I tell you what man, the next person I hear making insulting sterotypical remarks about us Geordie’s is gonna get stabbed in the eye!” “Why eye?” I asked
Continue ReadingMality mality mality mality. That’s the formalities over with
Continue ReadingI had a bit of a shock when I found out my parents had put an electric fence around their house.
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