I got sacked from my job …
I got sacked from my job at the clock factory. I just stood around making faces all day.
Continue ReadingI got sacked from my job at the clock factory. I just stood around making faces all day.
Continue ReadingI went on a Haitian’s Facebook. His family pictures were underneath his wall.
Continue ReadingIf life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water pistol and shoot people in the eyes.
Continue ReadingSorry Polar Bears, survival of the fittest and all that.
Continue ReadingI got in the car with my drug dealer the other day. He drove around slowly, before picking up speed.
Continue ReadingI needed some inspiration earlier. So I took a deep breath.
Continue ReadingI’m in serious trouble. I got caught urinating in the shower this morning. It seems they frown on that at B&Q.
Continue ReadingIf got a self centred cat with a stutter. It’s all me-me-me-meow.
Continue ReadingMy daughter is named Charlotte but I prefer to call her lotto. Not because it’s shorter just because I have a go on her twice a week.
Continue ReadingI have been called too vague by you know who but you know the old saying…
Continue ReadingI’ve come up with more irrelevant similes than a cat on a hot tin roof.
Continue ReadingMy whole world appeared to have been turned upside down. So I hung the mirror the right way up.
Continue ReadingIs it just me or is everyone else finding the “ban sickipedia” page on facebook incredibly funny?
Continue ReadingPhonezheimer’s – The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting who you were calling just as they answer.
Continue ReadingI congratulated a toilet cubicle earlier. It was recently engaged
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