BBC News : “Chickens die …
BBC News : “Chickens die as lorry overturns” Investigations into why the chickens were crossing the road have so far only drawn really bad punchlines.
Continue ReadingBBC News : “Chickens die as lorry overturns” Investigations into why the chickens were crossing the road have so far only drawn really bad punchlines.
Continue ReadingI failed my chair exam. I have to resit.
Continue ReadingDo you ever get tempted to write ‘Ahh fat booth, I love that app’ every time a fat girl uploads a new profile pic?!
Continue ReadingLindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in a jail that is run by a Lesbian gang. A former inmate of LA’s Century Detention Facility said “She’ll have to watch her back.” Errr……… No…….. I don’t think its her back thats likely to get the most attention…..
Continue ReadingThe girlfriend told me she doesn’t want to speak to me or see me for a while because I didn’t say anything to the bus driver who was rude to her. It seems that we’re just not getting on anymore.
Continue ReadingI feel so sorry for those Chinese babies who died after having milk contaminated with melamine. On the bright side they may be dead but at least they had a lovely finish.
Continue ReadingMaybe the man was swinging the cat around, To check if there was enough room.
Continue ReadingI was dragging my son around Asda earlier. I started with a dress, then finished on the make-up.
Continue ReadingI bailed yet another mate out today and I’m sick of it. They either let me bat or bowl instead of wicketkeeping, or I wont play cricket with them anymore.
Continue Reading“Why don’t you take that apple to work?” asked my wife. “I didn’t even know it had a job” I replied.
Continue ReadingSky News: ‘Gaza Aid Ship Arrives At Israeli Port’ I thought he was on the wagon, nevermind abroad.
Continue ReadingHas anyone else noticed that the most evil and infamous men in history have sported moustaches? Adolf Hitler, Joseph Fritzl, Saddam Huessein… Super Mario…
Continue ReadingI played a little trick on my wife today… I gave her a large dose laughing gas on the way in to her mother’s funeral.
Continue ReadingI met this Jew the other day, we got into a theological debate. It turned out he really didn’t like other Jews at all, his family were all really stingy and he’d been abused by a rabbi as a child. We were getting on so well I plucked up the courage to ask him about […]
Continue ReadingI’ve been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up.
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