My mate left his Facebook logged in, so I did what came naturally. I changed his status to ”James is deleting all of his friends who are black”. It wasn’t only the fact that he was booted off the site which made him angry at me. It was the 20+ phonecalls he received immediatly after […]
Continue ReadingI was out walking last winter, when I got caught in a heavy shower of freezing rain. I don’t really remember what followed… I just sort of glazed over.
Continue ReadingI just mastered the art of humility and I’m proud of it.
Continue ReadingI see that Madonna has bought herself another little black number on mail order.
Continue ReadingA new craze from China is set to take over from planking. People all over the country are covering themselves in light brown paint. They’re calling it Beijing.
Continue Reading“Out of small acorns grow mighty oaks” I must have the bonsai variety
Continue ReadingThe brain is the most outstanding organ.It works non-stop,from the time you’re born until….you fall in love.
Continue ReadingMy helium jokes never go down too well.
Continue ReadingSeeing London is easy on the Eye.
Continue ReadingThe dog was sitting next to his owner at the movies. He was barking excitedly and wagging his tail every time the hero was on screen, and growling ferociously every time the villain appeared. The man sitting behind them, totally fascinated by what he sees, taps the owner on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, […]
Continue Reading‘The Government are urging obese people to eat less’ That’ll be hard for them to swallow. Unless it’s hidden in a Cake.
Continue ReadingSo here I am, the final of the cornflake eating contest. It’s crunch time.
Continue ReadingI had a pet spider when I was younger. I discovered that when I shouted ‘LEFT’ he went left, and when I shouted ‘RIGHT’ he went right, and when I pulled his legs off. . . . he went deaf.
Continue ReadingThose yellow post-it notes are just useless. Everytime I post one it gets stuck to another letter and sent to the wrong address.
Continue Reading2 pebbles sitting on a beach, 1st one says to the other “are you married” the 2nd one replies “no im shingle”
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