I swore at someone in Fre …
I swore at someone in French this morning. After that I punched someone in Maths and smashed a desk up in History.
Continue ReadingWhat is six inches tall a …
What is six inches tall and goes ‘buzz buzz buzz’? Mrs. Lightyear.
Continue ReadingA friend of mine told me …
A friend of mine told me that there’s no such thing as gravity. I’m not falling for that one.
Continue ReadingI just got kicked where t …
I just got kicked where the sun don’t shine. Last time i ever go on Holiday to Iceland in winter.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend prepared a …
My girlfriend prepared a fried breakfast for me this morning. It was panned by the critics.
Continue ReadingI just watched the video …
I just watched the video “My tram experience” on youtube and I was shocked. I thought “Does my voice really sound like that?”
Continue ReadingI recently discovered tha …
I recently discovered that UNICEF don’t have a sense of humour. Apparently it’s not funny asking the wee kids with the big bellies: “When’s it due?”
Continue ReadingHave you seen those bottl …
Have you seen those bottles of wine with Braille on them? Must be for when you get blind drunk.
Continue ReadingWhen me and my best frien …
When me and my best friend left school we got a job dividing countries. We both made a Korea out of it.
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I didn’t get the job with the Council Racial Equalities Department. Because ‘Being a white person’ makes me unable to relate to racial inequality issues.
Continue ReadingI was in the library when …
I was in the library when my mate sent me the funniest joke by text. So I replied, ‘los’
Continue ReadingEarlier this afternoon, I …
Earlier this afternoon, I employed a gardener called Anita Bush.
Continue ReadingReally proud of myself, j …
Really proud of myself, just past a spelling test.
Continue ReadingStatistically 2 in 1 peop …
Statistically 2 in 1 people prefer Spit-Roasts.
Continue ReadingBBC sport: Tiger Woods mi …
BBC sport: Tiger Woods misses cut. That could be revenge, hope he’s got a good alibi?
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