Category: wordplay

I have real trouble remembering the 25th letter of the alphabet. I dont know why.

I’ve just been told off by trading standards for selling cheap cod… He gave me a Pollocking.

SKY NEWS “Family devestated by son’s swing tragedy” Well if you insist on taking him along to those sorts of parties……

I don’t know what the fuss is about, It’s been nine years to the date, and i still don’t know what happen on the 9th of November

Electric or Gas? Jew decide.

My wife came to visit me in prison. She said, “How are you keeping?” I said, “Really well … I saved a penalty in the last game”

I bought a Blackberry the other day. I really don’t see what all the fuss is about, they’re too small, very delicate, I could never get any signal, couldn’t send texts, receive calls or go on the internet with it. In the end I just gave up and ate it.

For her birthday, the wife has asked me to get her a personal trainer. So I’ve taken one of her Nike’s and wrote her name on it.

I love going to see my female gynaecologist… She has such genital hands.

The other day, I was asked to inspect some sand. It looked fine to me.

I took some tablets to lower my cholesterol….. I ended up with fat feet!

Why did Baron Frankenstein give up acting? He couldn’t get the parts.

BBC News: “How to spot British ladybirds.” What you need: A fine tipped paintbrush Black acrylic paint

Good King Wenseslas called his local pizza parlour. “Would you like your usual, sir?” “Oh yes,” he replied. “Deep pan: crisp and even.”

Why do 1,2,3,4,6,7,8 and 9 hate 5? Because 5 is mean.