Category: wordplay

I took my son to the doctors today, and the doctor said “I’m sorry, your son is a hemophiliac” I said “So what if I throw my favorite DVD at him?” The Doctor said “There will be blood” I said “No, it’s actually Scarface”

Is it just me or have I never actually seen a fish with fingers?

I’ve started my own See Saw manufacturing company. Business is up and down.

Thank the lord for Geography… I don’t know where I’d be without it.

Although I’m a lover of Bruce Willis’s work I wouldn’t say I was a Die Hard fan.

Sale on Baywatch Box-sets. 50% Hoff.

Someone came round today trying to sell me the first part of an encyclopaedia. They were describing it, but I couldn’t hear them over the TV. So I turned the volume down.

I’m thinking about giving up my career as a Witch Doctor. Since I opened the surgery, not one of those green hags have been in with an illness.

LeAnn Rimes. No it doesn’t.

I think the word ‘cliche’ is being used too often and has become meaningless.

My sister got a Scottish Action Man for Christmas, Battery’s included.

What did the brown tooth say to the white tooth? ‘Iz it ‘coz I iz plaque?’

I got lost in the port on the way to loading bay7, so I had to go back to bay6 and start again

I feel really sorry for countries who enforce capital punishment. Imagine starting your name with a small letter.

Channel 5’s Programme: ‘Danger: Diggers at Work’ is one letter away from being the most lied about tv programme ever!