Category: wordplay

How do you avoid a scandal on the beach ? Don’t let the sea get into your sandal.

I had my wife cremated then planted some seeds in her urn. A couple of weeks later she rose from the ashes.

What’s long, hard and full of seamen? A ship. What’s long, hard but not full of seamen? An Italian ship.

Finding imposition in the dictionary is next to impossible.

I popped my girlfriends cherry today. Completely ruined her fruit salad.

thats the last time i take the kids to lego land………. every where we tried to go was blocked.

There was a guy, who one day had had enough with mediocrity, that decided to try and hit the big time by expanding his paddling pool business. So he sought out a specialist, and asked what he needed to do in order to make it work. The specialist mysteriously replies, ‘Ahhh, depends.’ The owner, clearly […]

I have been dating a beautiful young Chinese girl for 8 years now, her name is Wan, we would have got married ages ago but my surname’s King.

Business in my pub has been way down since I fitted it with draught excluders.

Just swore at the artist who has painted my portrait. Most unlike me.

I have taken up base jumping, I’m going to start with my sub-woofer and work my way up.

I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it’s 15p. I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

I tried raping this really fit girl the other day. I must have been chasing her for a good 20 minutes and she still managed to outrun me.

Ernest Hemingway is where serious tailors live.

My grandfather was a bitter man… He hated any other types of beer.