Category: wordplay

Has anyone on here ever drunk a pint of Tequila? I know it’s a long shot.

How do you turn a bar into a club? One whack to the wife’s head.

As the defibrillator paddles were thrust onto the chest of Vaclav Havel in a last ditch attempt to revive the great dissident. the doctor on site was heard to remark, “Never before have I seen a Czech bounce so fast”.

BBC news: Rio, drug trafficker surrounded. All that money from football and still he can’t escape his black roots.

I met the chinese version of Run DMC the other day they told me to wok this way.

Yahoo News: Asda Recalls Chocolate Bar. Me too. I was reminiscing about the days of Marathon this afternoon.

Me and the missus were going on our holidays and, while on the plane, we fell out and spent the rest of the day rowing. In hindsight, I guess it was lucky we landed next to a boat.

Knitting in the dark.. I can’t see the point.

I have this crazy stalker girl demanding money from me. What kind of name is Mortgage Company anyway? French?

I remember when everything was different. Then everything changed and nothing is the same these days.

It was necessary to give my wife two black eyes last night. One way or another, she will panda to my needs!

Just got myself one of those toasted sandwich makers… Or a black girlfriend as she calls it.

I have a blocked nose. Wish I wasn’t made out of Lego.

There’s a hole in the wall on my house that lets in a terrible draft. On the plus side it’s very convenient when I need cash.

Before Tuesday’s emergency budget, being on the dole had its benefits.