Category: wordplay

When I woke up this morning my head was spinning. The wife freaked out and called an exorcist.

Did you hear about the pencil who wouldn’t move? He was just stationary

I’m selling five hundred fake E’s at half price if anyone’s interested. There’s no rush.

So, Shania Twain has the perfect face? That don’t impress me much.

I find it ironic that My boss placed me on Gardening leave. From the horticultural society

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

To be fair, stay out of the sun.

I saw the bus that goes past my house from my office window. In a moment of nostalgia I thought, “That takes me back”.

Shaved my hoo ha with Occam’s razor. Now my Man parts are smooth AND have the principle of parsimony.

I just came all over my new girlfriend’s rack, I think she’s going to break up with me when she gets home and see’s the stain on her dress.

My girlfriend went weak at the knees when she saw me last night. That’s the last time I go for a spontaneous piggy-back.

I’m so glad I finally went to see a therapist for my paranoia three years ago. I haven’t looked back since.

Emulsifiers Making the unmiscible, miscible.

Faulty hand dryers in toilets are out of order.

I read somewhere that when someone is about to quote a bogus fact or statistic that they preface it by saying, ‘I read somewhere’