Category: wordplay

I make over 300 a week on line. I’m a train driver .

This vodka’s a lot stronger than I thought. I really need to get in the habit of proofreading.

I’ve just come back from a bukakke party in Paris. The girl got an Eiffel.

How do you tell a kebab to be quiet? Shh, kebab

I cooked an exotic curry recipe for dinner last night, but when I sat down to eat it I couldn’t find it. It was a Korma Chameleon.

Statistically, 3.141592 in every onion forms an opinion.

A lot of people are saying that Amy Winehouse died from taking heroin. But I think it was probably those 5 gram Es.

My son said that the teacher had made him wear a hat made out of a piece of paper. “Foolscap,” I said. “No,” he replied, “it was more pointy with a big ‘D’ on it.”

Lucky, the worlds oldest sheep, has died age 23. Well, you can only wrap them up in cotton wool for so long.

My wife has just delivered twin boys and let me name them. From her reaction, I’m guessing Pete and Repeat wasn’t the best choice.

A Trojan horse has ruined my laptop… It trotted over it while I was on holiday in Turkey.

The new Mario game is near perfection. There’s not mushroom for improvement.

Where do homeless people shoot their load? In The Big Tissue.

I wonder if Whitneys school teacher regrets making her do all those lines

I’ve just invented a liquid that will burn through anything. I can’t find anything to keep it in.