Category: wordplay

In school I wanted to join the debating team. But someone talked me out of it.

A mate asked me what I thought of The Jimi Hendrix Experience. I said mixing drugs and alcohol and drowning in my own vomit didn’t appeal to me that much.

Winalot has gone into liquidation. They have called the retrievers in

People who show off about their lotion just keep rubbing it in….

To brew a funky beer, you need hip hops.

I applied for a place at the fishermans school of excellence last week but it was refused as I was in the wrong catchment area.

I went on a course the other day on how to complain effectively. It was that good, I got my money back.

I’ll never forget my mate’s words to me just before he snuffed it.. “do you think it will make me sneeze?”

I told a policeman he had a screw loose. It was off the cuff.

As I stepped out of my front door I looked around and saw all the heavy rain today has waterlogged the dirt driveway and flooded my front garden! But I think it’s worse outback…

My favourite pick-up line is “Hey baby, I’ve got a truck.”

My friend says the word ‘history’ hundreds of times a day. He’s not weird or anything; history just has a habit of repeating itself.

Hit the gym pretty hard this morning. I really need to stop drink driving.

Just about to see “The Iron Lady” These trousers won’t de-crease themselves.

I was stood at a barberque the other day, 30 minutes I waited for a haircut.