Category: wordplay

My girlfriend complains that the light is too dim in our house. Watts the problem.

I bought a Christmas tree that was far too big to get in the car, so we had to cut the top off. Didn’t really mind, I’ve always wanted a convertible.

Gravity is a law. Lawbreakers will be brought down!

I’m writing a book about the wonders of blood. However, in the next chapter I’m going to talk about the dangers of platelet disorders. The clot thickens.

I watch Loose Women every day. These new binoculars are great.

I’m not saying my mate is a nerd but the closest he’ll ever get to a supermodel is a good Airfix kit.

The lawsuit made Abercrombie and Fitch realise the disabled girl wasnt as armless as theyd once thought.

Did you know you can actually live in the letters of the ‘HOLLYWOOD’ sign? I used to live in the ‘O’ but I had the neighbours from ‘L’

Friction can be a drag sometimes.

I asked my Mum why she insists on talking to me in a different language every day. She told me I wouldn’t understand. I think

My Wife told me she had breast cancer today. I was Tickled Pink.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The American wins the High Jump gold medal.

Saw a play about the moon landings last night. I thought it lacked gravity.

My friend’s just bought an old Boeing 747. He plans on turning it into a themed restaurant. I doubt it’ll take off.

I beat my personal best last night: pulled 5 times. Then I came. I’ve really made my masturbation efficient.