Category: wordplay

I’ve been having problems with Erectile dysfunction lately and joined a group for men with similar problems. During the meeting there were grown men breaking down and crying. I thought, they’re all just a bunch of Softies.

Police have been called to an accident involving an ice cream van, A spokesman said ” we may have to cone the area off “.

My friend decided to barge his way past the traffic to work today. I never knew he had a boat.

BBC News: Alcohol drinking ‘still falling’ Well it depends on how many I’ve had?

I’ve finally conquered my biggest fear of driving down a one way street. There’s no going back now.

I’ve been selling flour to drug addicts in my Area lately. It’s a great way to make some Dough.

I used to think it was OK to doubt myself… Now I’m not so sure.

I’ve just employed a single mother with dwarfism. Started her off on minimum wage.

I went to Boots and said, “Can I have a bottle of shampoo please.” The woman said, “Extra volume?” I said, “CAN I HAVE A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO PLEASE!”

Just saw a link for a Free Ed Sheeran video. I didn’t know he was in prison..

Sarah Jessica Parker, Princess Anne, Camilla Parker Bowles and Leona Lewis are going to star in a show about rich, pampered women looking for love. Desperate Horsewives.

I just bought some of the new Apocalypse cheese. It’s Best Before End.

When I found my 3 year old son smashing one of my chess pieces with a hammer I was horrified. I thought it’d be at least another 10 years until I caught him bashing the bishop.

I’ll never eat sedimentary rock again, Chalk that up to experience

I cooked an Italian meal but it didn’t taste right and I blame the herbs. I think it was faulty basil.