Category: wordplay

I’ve written up an escape plan for anyone stuck in tunnels, but you may have to just run through it.

I joined Match.com But i couldn’t see anything Striking on there.

What have the NHS got against cervixes, why the smear campaign?

My wife’s leaving me because of the all the jokes I make about blind people. I can not see what she’s on about.

Went to a seminar about getting rid of doubt last night. I don’t think it worked.

Cat Flaps; apparently not the most romantic name for my girlfriend’s “downstairs”.

My mum never let me play with scissors when I was younger. I could only use rock or paper.

I tried to give my rubbish to a refuse collector but he wouldn’t accept it.

I remember when the policeman asked me if I was going to come quietly. I said, “I’ll try, but those handcuffs really excite me.”

I’m going to start a business that installs nitrous boosters to armoured trucks. I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.

Men don’t get this. Period.

I had to split up with a girl because neither of us could crack our knuckles. It wasn’t her fault, we just didn’t click.

Times are changing…. I mean, just to think, a minute ago it was 11:40

Did you hear about the travelling street cleaner who cleaned a different city in the UK everyday?? He’s really sweeping the nation.

I did the catering for John Sullivan’s funeral. His wife said, “These sandwiches are very salty” I said, “I came in the rolls” She said, “I don’t care how you got here. What’s wrong with the food?”