Category: wordplay

I went to a corner shop today. I don’t know why though, I didn’t even want to buy a corner.

I’m ashamed to admit that I’m proud of my contradictory skills.

A Chinese guy kept making fun of my accent at work. Well, two can pray at that game.

There are some gypsies in my front garden… Moving on.

So a truck full of Marmite crash and spilled everywhere. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

my wife wants me to stop beating her i beat her all the time, in the living room, in the bedroom and everywhere i beat her so harshly she starts crying she is a sore looser at snakes and ladders

Don’t talk to me about plagiarism. I mostly wrote the book on plagiarism.

I couldn’t decide whether to start a career at the sperm bank, or in telecommunications. So I compromised and got a job at Siemen’s.

Noel Coward is a celebrated playwright. His christian name is French for christmas. His surname is French for soldier.

I fell out with the wife last night and she kicked me out of the bedroom. I still slept like a log though. In the toilet.

My mate phoned me earlier and said, “Do you fancy moving abroad?” “Is she dead like the last one?” I replied.

I’ve just released a new song called ‘Britney Spears’. There’s an amazing breakdown in the middle.

Book Cover Of The Year Award.. How’s that judged?

I had a can of beer last night and on the side it said, “best drunk before 2010”. I’ve just emailed them thanking them for the award, which I graciously accept.

What did the nostril say to the index finger? Take your pick.