Category: wordplay

If I was fighting the rock in wwf wrestling, I would take a piece of lined A4 with me into the ring. Everybody knows that paper beats rock.

Ever since I had my stroke I’ve not been feeling right.

Snow White didn’t achieve much in her life but she managed to turn one of the dwarves purple. At least she dyed Happy.

Finally got my Canadian history exam results back.. I got an EH

My mate got the sack from the Royal Mail this morning. And set off on his daily round.

I just saw that ‘Nutella’ was trending on twitter Someone must have spread the word.

Just found out last night that I come from a long line of time travellers. Took me back a bit.

I have been working in a mirror factory for years now. It’s what I’ve always seen myself doing.

“Where were you last night?”, I asked my girlfriend. “I was at my friend’s house, it was girls night.” “Your story’s full of holes!”, I replied.

A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered… I’m waiting for Autumn.

I’m tired of my co-workers making cutting remarks, such as “Doctor, make an incision”.

How does Dirk Kuyt like his goals Poached

I think its about time I came out of the closet to my wife. Its really hot in here and I can’t see that anything good is going to happen between her and her sister.

On a scale of 1-10, my dinner was 3.14159… Steak and Kidney to be precise.

I went to blockbuster earlier to see if I could get superman returns They said that’s fine, as long as I’ve got a reciept