Category: wordplay

I dislike stories involving mythical creatures. They really drag on.

I’m not being paranoid but there’s 5 Peruvian Owls standing on my garden fence, watching me through my kitchen window. I’m sure they’re Inca hoots!

Did you hear about the Frenchman who could only count to seven? He had a huit allergy.

There are free things in life i’ll never understand Spelling and counting

Why are sandwich fillings so thick? Because they’re all in bread.

My Grandmother served during the second world war. She was a waitress.

It’s funny how the word bed… looks like a bed!

I found out my wife was seeing other men. Stabbing her in the eyes soon put a stop to that.

I’ve just got one of those Doner cards. If I buy 4 I get the 5th free, according to the takeaway.

When it comes down to it, Joanna was a landscape architect. It’s not like she was going to change the face of the Earth or anything.

After spending all day watching the golf, I couldn’t help but think “I need to get a better car”

I’ve just been arrested for spinning an OAP above my head. I was only trying to see if the swinging sixties were as good as everyone says.

Sum people enjoy maths

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

I’ve just created a clock with a built-in air freshener. Time is of the essence.