Category: wordplay

Yahoo News : Plane catches fire on landing How did they get it up the stairs in the first place?

My friend faked his own death to get insurance money by falling into quick-sand. Some people can sink so low…

I stole my last girlfriend’s heart. Now I’m under cardiac arrest.

My mates wife’s car got clamped last night. A friend asked where. “Around the wheel, obviously” came the reply.

Everyone congratulated me last week for quitting smoking after 30 years. My ex-colleagues at the fishery put on a great retirement party for me.

How can you best describe the person sleeping over the wet patch? Overcome.

The wife took delivery of a 42″ TV, today. What she wants with a cross dressing midget I’ll never know.

I smashed a computer over my girlfriend’s head last week. She was asking for IT.

Peyton Manning is treat like a hero just because he’s got a great throw? I think my gran has been overlooked, you should see the one she knitted last week.

I think it’s stupid to rundown Muslims. If people are watching.

I had haggis today and didn’t like it. It was offal.

I’m inclined to be laid back.

I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me on the way I had cooked his steak. “Well done” is rare from a medium.

You’re not supposed to judge people by appearances. But I met Frank Bruno, and after an hour’s conversation I still think he’s black.

I always look over my shoulder where ever I go. In hindsight,it’s probably a good thing.