Category: wordplay

I won the Young Scientist Of The Year in 1986. Nice little lad, I keep him in the loft.

A family of bears has broken into a holiday cabin in Norway and consumed more than 100 cans of beer. To be fair, they had their name on them.

I went to the zoo with my family today. Later on, I was watching the gorillas with my gran when they suddenly started mating! It hurt at first but I think gran enjoyed it.

I was speaking to a girl in a bar last night when I commented that I’m just like a sword. “Is it because you’re so long?” she asked. “No” “Is it because you’re dashing?” “No” “Then how are you like a sword?” “Because I’m going to rapier”.

KFC have decided that due to the current economic climate its employees will receive chicken instead of a pay rise. Strike action is expected after workers described the pay increase as “paltry”.

I’ve hired my wife a plane for the day. She’s got 24 hours to fix that table now.

To tell you the truth, I’m a compulsive liar….

I knew my job in the local butchers was coming to an end. I could feel it in my bones.

I was in Spearmint Rhino and this girl asked “How about a private dance?” so I said “I would, but I have no sense of rythm.”

A mate just asked me if I like Placebo? Doesn’t really do anything for me.

Gently tapping the wife on the back of the head earlier. “Knock it off,” she said. Big mistake.

I changed the gradient on my treadmill, I felt inclined.

BBC news: Woman injured in Hammer Attack Stop…

My mate challenged me to a game of drafts today. I won with a 3000 word essay.

I’ve just made some serious money. I took a fiver and drew a furrowed brow on the Queen.