Category: wordplay

Hurrah, I’ve reached the finals of the Tourettes World Cup. Now it’s all over bar the shouting.

I did a tandem sky dive yesterday. I was on the front seat doing the steering and pedalling, while my mate on the back seat opened the parachute.

So the Onion says to the Garlic “Hey Love, why dont you take your cloves off.”

I took some chocolate from some chocolatiers today. They were reduced to tears.

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for… … Velcro gloves!

My 8 year old son came home from school and told me that his Scouse teacher had taught them about reproduction. “At last!” I said “now make me some pirate DVD’s”

I think snails must be wary of getting divorced, you really wouldn’t want to lose the house

Why is a circle clever? Because it has 360 degrees.

I like making a move on my girlfriend first thing in the morning to help wake her up. I usually start with the suplex.

BBC NEWS: Norfolk couple rejoice at healthy conjoined cousins.

I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call. Next morning, she rang and said, “what are you doing with your life?”

What’s the difference between a urethra and a garden hose? Well, let me tell you, there’s a vas deferens…

I nearly came in my new trousers today. Put my jeans on instead.

Note to self: The Child Support Agency do not manufacture a wonderbra for 13 year old girls.

Working as a cake waiter at a wedding, I saw the most beautiful girl from across the room. I immediately took a fancy to her.