Category: wordplay

I recently bought one of those Viera 3D TV’s. The screen is much blacker than on the Bergkamp and Pires models

What do you call a restaurant manager from Leeds? Ed Chef

What’s wetter and sloppier than a French Kiss? The Golly Wog Snog.

I threw open the doors of the Lamborghini owners convention and shouted- ”I came in a Lamborghini!!” A rather posh looking bloke came up to me and said- ”Sir, we all did, and I think you mean ARRIVED in a Lamborghini” ”No” I replied, ”I meant came. One of you idiots left your window down […]

What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a board game? Natasha Kerplunksky

External stimulation of brainwave patterns. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

They say its bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the morning of the wedding day. I said to my wife ”Thats weird, I dont remember seeing you in the morning”

There’s something I don’t like about using touch screen technology I just can’t put my finger on it.

A couple of Irish builders have recently moved in next door to me and all I ever hear them say is “Wheelbarrow this” and “wheelbarrow that”,. I wouldn’t normally mind, but the last time I lent a pikey something he never gave it back.

I was watching Sky Sports today. Them paragliders were very good.

Becoming notorious gangsters in London during the 1950s and 60s was the thing to do. Back then it just happened to be the craze.

Once you’ve gone black you never go back! Well that’s house fires for you!!!

I’ve finally grasped the difference between the real world and the Internet world. Well, virtually.

Better use a latex because you don’t want to get that “I’m Late Text.”

My journalist friend got arrested for putting random dots throughout his articles. We have to go to court again tomorrow because today the judge couldn’t decide how long his sentence was.