Category: wordplay

Painting your Front Door? Tip for the day, Don’t Knock it til you’ve dried it.

I keep seeing all this stuff on the news about “Rio 2016”. Surely he will have retired by then?

I dont know about you guys but With the ability to spell difficult words such as connoisseur, manoeuvre and conscientiously, I’m seriously thinking about entering a spelling competishon.

A German man is driving down the moterway and gets pulled over by the police. The policeman says “Could i take a look in zhe boot?” The man opens the boot and there is a huge piece of meat laying there.. “Vhat is zhis meat in your boot vor?” The man replies “Zhat is my […]

Me and the wife did one of them hot air balloon trips where you fly over your own house… when she she leaned over the edge for a better look I pushed her out. I could tell she wasn’t happy. In fact, she hit the roof

Next time try posting a joke without using any words. Just a thought.

BBC News: ‘Brighton paedophile jailed for nine years’ It was his own fault, he should have known that his actions would have noncequences.

When muslim extremists discuss a former suicide bomber. Do they refer to him as a “blast from the past”

There, their, and they’re. Get it right, your in college!

I recently started dating a convicted criminal… She’s my guilty pleasure.

Cheap knives. They just don’t cut it.

I found a hole in my trainer that’s big enough to put my finger through. One formal complaint from her, and I’m now banned from the gym.

What’s black and white and read all over? I don’t know, but it’s not News of the World.

Me and my girlfriend had a huge fight last night which ended up with her saying ‘You’re dead to me’. So I ran at her at top speed and knocked her to the floor. Well if I was dead to her, I would be a ghost and would have gone straight through.

Legs: together we stand, divided we fall.