Category: wordplay

News: 7/7 ‘hero’ tried to save injured Full marks for trying

I’ve been quite ill recently and I sent a text message asking my girlfriend if she could cover my regular volunteering position giving out food to the needy, as I didn’t want to let anyone down at the charity. However, due to a small typing error, she ended up spending four hours handing out sandwiches […]

When I interrupted my husband telling me that his best friend had been killed by pulling up my blouse to reveal a huge pair of control pants, he stormed out of the room in disgust. I don’t know why he was so angry, I was just trying to show him a bit of support.

Drinking with a speech impediment? It’s whisky business.

BBC News: Man guilty of 40m jeweller’s raid. Men get blamed for everything these days.

When you have friends come for dinner, it’s a very different evening if you add an apostrophe…

I can’t stand my wife at the minute I’m leaning her against the wall instead

I hear the looters are particularly fond of stealing Iphone’s At least that will stop them communicating.

My wife wants to go on a road trip around famous Chinese monuments…Her requests are driving me up the wall.

If you suffer from lockjaw, you need a toothpick.

I was on a ride at a funfair. One minute I was laughing my head off. Next I felt angry. Then I just became very sad. Turns out I was on an emotional roller coaster.

Just been to Pizza Hut in Newcastle. I had a Howaiiyan and she had a Whyaiian.

Apparently over two million toddlers are overweight in Britain. I like to think of them as waddlers.

The wife woke me up at five o’clock this morning to nip down the shop for the papers. I think she might have a serious cannabis problem.

I’ve got a mole that has turned a funny colour which worries me slightly. I think I’ll take it to the vet.